I was talking to my aunt on Sunday. She is my mother’s sister. She happens to be 72 years old and has been married for over forty years to the same man. I always admired their marriage. They seem to be so in love with another, still. They have that look in their eyes, you know that passionate one that seems to allude most of us. I always felt sorry for my mother because I knew that was never the type of love she had for my father. I wondered, too, if she noticed it and felt that she lost out on something. I could never tell and was afraid to ask. But what I learned on Sunday, surprised me. My aunt told me that when she was dating her husband, he was quite the ladies man. He had several women after him. Even my aunt’s best friends tried to steal him away from her. And while he was dating my aunt, it turns out he had 5 or 6 girlfriends, a few of which were married women. But she knew he was the one for her and didn’t let him go. She decided to fight for her man and not let the other women win him over. She admits she wasn’t the prettiest of his girlfriends, but she was the smartest. Now I am not sure how long he carried on with the affairs, or if they even continued once they were married. But what I do know is that mentality is nonexistent nowadays. That is unacceptable behavior as far as women are concerned. But I started to wonder what did it all matter? Forty years later, those 5 or 6 girlfriends are faded memories. What did it matter that he’s had those women, when for over forty years he has been by my aunt’s side, has loved her and understood her, has had two beautiful children and a grandchild with her. He has been there with her through his ill health and hers. He has woken up with her in the middle of the night just to hold her and has wiped tears from her eyes and kissed her in a way that made her feel she was the only woman in the world. And this is something my aunt knew from the beginning, just by looking at him. She felt he would be her partner forever and whatever was happening in that moment she knew would be temporal. She saw him for everything he was and wasn’t and decided that this man was worth fighting for, was worth loving for the rest of her life.
I’m not saying she should have taken him back after he cheated. But had she not, the last 40 years of her life might not as been as blissful as she has claimed them to be. So what is love to someone like her?
I don’t know is it possible to love someone who is truly imperfect and flawed? Let’s say someone doesn’t have the greatest job, or has a wandering eye, or has values that are slightly different; is it still possible to love that person? Is it possible to know that this person isn’t the best choice for you, but maybe is the one that you love anyway, regardless. Because no one is the ideal, but you love this person and all their imperfections. Because love really isn’t perfect, it just is sometimes.
What do you think?